Looking Back and Moving Forward

In line with the annual essay writing contest in time for the new year, I also began to reflect on the year that just passed, but for the life of me, I couldn't remember half of what happened or how I felt about the events of 2018.

A quick browse through my Instagram account reminded me of how eventful 2018 actually was. To recap, 2018 was when
  • I finished the second month of my maternity leave;
  • I got to know my second son and reacquainted myself with the joys and challenges of mothering an infant;
  • I had my face-palm interview with the Judicial and Bar Council (although to be kind to myself, it must not have been all that bad since I did get shortlisted for a position);
  • my husband had an angioplasty;
  • we almost lost my parents' house;
  • my sister went back to New Zealand and her family followed a few months after;
  • my mom sold a property which netted her several millions and then spent/gave/lent most of it in a span of 1 month;
  • my new niece was born ( lucky number 13);
  • I lugged my baby to Bacolod and Cebu just because he was the chillest baby ever (sadly, he's not so chill anymore and he's morphing into a little diva);
  • my baby turned a year old; and
  • we spent the holidays in Biliran and I got to spend time with my in-laws and US based cousins.
In between that was work, time spent with family and Netflix.

I remember being furious with my husband after his angioplasty.

Prior to his operation, I was busy getting money together, arranging things at home (since I had an infant son and child who also needed to be looked after), and literally running to the office when needed.

During his operation, my cousin, who was in town for a conference, dropped by and accompanied me during the wait. It was cathartic to have someone to talk to and unload all the shit that had been festering inside me.

After the operation, he was cleared by the doctor and we went back to the ward. It was during those moments of quiet that my anger began to bubble up. Anger that it had to come to this due to his negligence. My anger has since abated since he has owned up to his shortcomings and has done the necessary steps to prevent a repeat (i.e. lose weight and lifestyle changes), but I honestly don't know if I'll still be able to go through another self-inflicted, health related issue.

My husband and I also spent a lot of time discussing what we would do if I would be appointed as a judge since it would entail my relocation to the province. I have also began to really dig deep into my "why" behind becoming a judge. Is it really something I want or something that was planted in my psyche by my well-meaning parents and family members?

I think that I will be effective in the judiciary because my strengths align with the skillset needed to become a judge. But if I don't make the cut, I'm not going to lose sleep over it and will probably look towards another direction career-wise and then develop the necessary competencies to make a successful transfer. Either way, I know I'll have my family's support, so I'm good.

The waiting for my judgeship application continues into 2019, but in the meantime, there's work and my family to keep me busy. I'm also busy planning for and dreaming about our upcoming summer trip to Tokyo. This will just be the second out of the country trip for my little family (first for the baby) and we're really excited about it.

My mother's side of the family also has a grand reunion in the works for June so that's also something to look forward to.

Financially, I'll be done paying a majority of our personal loans by the first quarter of the year, thus, I'll be using some of the money earmarked towards loan payment towards the principal balance of our Pag-ibig mortgage. But our mortgage isn't the only thing that will be seeing some action because our savings will also be getting some serious loving this year.

The past year has taught me that my relationship with my husband is a constant work in progress and that there will be times when I won't be able to stand even the sight of him. But when the strong emotions have subsided and I am confronted with what we have built together and am reminded of the love we share and continue to share, I will once again realize just how lucky and blessed I am to have him in my life.

And on that cheesy note, happy new year everyone! May 2019 be the year we break out of whatever's keeping us from becoming our best self.


frt said…
oh wooow, judge jill has a very nice ring to it ;) still a few years away from qualifying for a position in the judiciary. there are a lot of vacant rtcs here in cebu, btw.
edelweiza said…
I like how this post ended on a positive note. God is good, we just have to look for the #silverlining in our lives, hehe.

I can't wait to congratulate you for having been appointed as a judge! I might be able to see you in person pa on your oath-taking. My best friend back in HS is also applying for the same position in Nueva Ecija naman. In case God has a diff. plan, though, I'm sure it'll be with your best interest in mind.

HNY, Jill and family! I missed reading your sensible personal and money-related posts. :)
Jaki said…
Happy new year, Jill.
Hope you make it as judge Jill! Sana you don't abandon this blog kahit judge ka na hehe.. I am still on the fence whether to follow the judiciary path, its 60 na retirement age is a little too long for me but we'll see!
R said…
Judge Jill! Sending you good vibes for that appointment. I hope you won't stop blogging about personal finance once you become a judge.

Your previous posts re: the angioplasty procedure helped me a lot this year. Thank you for sharing them. I had plantar fasciitis, knee joint pain, prediabetes, and gut problems -- all lifestyle diseases. The anger you felt, I felt with myself :(

I got motivated to adopt healthier lifestyle choices because I imagined how much money I would spend on insulin if I let my condition escalate to type 2 diabetes. I also got anxious about eventually needing surgery if my knees and feet get even more damaged and can't carry my weight anymore. This doesn't really sink in unless you're there or it happens to someone you know. Thank you for sharing it to us.
jun said…
Judge Jill sounds like someone you wont want to mess with!
Maria Ayra said…
Ma’am baka po pwede po makuha yung procedure paano po kayo nakatipid sa pagpapa Angioplasty ng asawa nyo. Kasi po ngayon naka admit po yung mama ko e need nya din po nun. Please po
Jillsabs said…
Hi Ayra,

Please check your email.
Jillsabs said…
Masungit ba?:p

Happy new year, Jun!
Jillsabs said…
Wow! Good on you for dealing with your health issues head-on! I pray for your continued good health and drive to maintain it.
Jillsabs said…
Thanks George! I also hope that I can continue blogging if I get appointed because this blog is my baby.
Jillsabs said…
Happy new year to you too, Jaki!
Jillsabs said…
Happy new year Edel! Selfie tayo if sa Malacanang ako mag oath taking :p
Jillsabs said…
Try to apply too when you qualify for a judiciary position. The application process is tedious and involves a lot of waiting, but serving as a judge is such a rewarding experience since you really feel your contribution to society.
Sera Que said…
Judge Jill has a really nice ring to it! I do hope you get that post that you want.

2018 presented a lot of changes but well here we all are. Alive and ready to kick 2019 in the 4ss.

Saka sana blogging updates pa rin kahit na judge ka na ha.

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